Driving Me To Drink

Ok, so it is more of a putt than a drive....Anyway, in my role as professor, I'm often called upon to be a purveyor of wisdom, to share life lessons and help to shape the minds of our youth. It is in this spirit that I impart this morsel of sagacity, this tidbit of talent, this plum of percipience:
I worry about my students, the young people in our society. St. Patrick's day is upcoming, and I am keenly aware that it has lost its original meaning and become a drinking holiday. I fear they will drink and drive. What's worse? I fear, they'll do it badly. Young people: if you are going to drink, be smart. If you must drive, do so in the smartest way possible. It's all about reducing exposure time. I suggest you double or (if possible) triple the speed limit. In so doing, you will--at the least--cut in half your time "on the street." The possibility of an accident will be much more remote since you'll be driving for a much shortened period of time. And, more importantly, the chance of being pulled over "under the influence" will be much reduced as you'll be off the street so much more quickly.

Be smart out there.