Whole Foods bans sale of live lobsters

By LIZ AUSTIN, Associated Press Writer
AUSTIN, Texas - Customers craving fresh crustaceans will have to look beyond Whole Foods Market Inc. after the natural-foods grocery chain decided Thursday to stop selling live lobsters and crabs on the grounds that it's inhumane.

The Austin-based grocer spent seven months studying the sale of live lobsters from ship to supermarket aisle, trying to determine whether the creatures suffer along the way.

In some stores, they experimented with "lobster condos," filling tanks with stacks of large pipes the critters can crawl inside. And they moved the tanks behind seafood counters and away from children's tapping fingers.

Ultimately, Whole Foods management decided to immediately stop selling live lobsters and soft-shell crabs, saying they could not ensure the creatures are treated with respect and compassion.

Has the whole fucking world lost its mind, or is it just me? "INHUMANE"!? We're talking about creatures that scuttle about on god damn claws here. We're talking about creatures that are related to sea lice and barnacles. We're talking about food. (And, may I say, food that kicks ass with a side of melted butter and a nice piece of filet mignon sharing the plate.)

All right, I mean if supermarkets were having a "lets rip their fucking claws off and see how long they live" contest, I'd agree with discontinuing the practice (though I'd probably want to catch the show at least once). But we're talking about a swimming cock roach that goes from sea floor to fish tank to tummy. Someone explain the problem? Don't we have some bigger things to worry about ? I swear to god, if I see one jackass vegan (replete in white man dread locks, hemp shirt, brown blue jean cut offs, and birkenstocks) with a "save the lobsters" sign out on the road today, I'm swerving my SUV up onto the median and taking the skinny little cocksucker out. These motherfuckers will step over a homeless guy sleeping in his own piss to spit on some bitch wearing a mink.



Fuck Whole Foods. Fuck vegans. Fuck you.